What’s hard for teenagers

Having people who don’t understand you trying to control you.

Parents not understanding the things you have to deal with.

Having to deal with school.

Being accepted by friends.

Having someone really close to you leave you.

Being blamed for almost everything because we are teen-agers.

Living with divorced parents and having no say in where you go.

Dealing with boy/girl friends.

Trying to deal with a parent who doesn’t want to understand and take time to listen to your comments.

Not being financially independent.

Meeting parents’ expectations and never being good enough.

Knowing your parents are right.

What’s best about being a teen

Getting away with immature behavior.

The chance to try new things.

Having your whole life ahead of you.

Youth, energy and time.

Lots to look forward to.

Getting a driver’s license

Almost being done with school.

Friends and relationships.

Not having to work.

Summer vacation.

What parent’s don’t understand

Our schedules and our social lives.

That restrictions don’t work and talking does.

We’re old enough to make our own choices.

We need to have our freedom every once in a while.

That we make mistakes just like they did.

Grades aren’t the only thing I’m good for; I can make you proud by just being me!!

We love you even if you aren’t around.

Threats make me fear you, not respect you.

What the world is like now, not what it was like when they were kids.

We have feelings, too.

Their words can hurt really badly.

It really is hard to live in a family where your opinion doesn’t count.

We understand trust isn’t cheap but we have to learn some things for ourselves.

PS

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

PPS:

As a side note, may I suggest an incredible book, as you may be looking at developing your finances here as well- Seed Money.

A reader writes in to ask: “We faced with some power struggles with our 14 year-old. They just keep getting bigger and bigger. No matter what we try to do it seems he has to fight us for all he’s worth. We don’t want to give in, but we are afraid of what might happen. Do you have any suggestions for how we can successfully take stand without losing the relationship?”

-You have asked a very good question, one that almost every family with teen-agers has to face at some point.

A general rule for parents of teens

Let’s start with a general rule about power struggles and teens:

Once you enter into a power struggle with a teen-ager, you
have already lost. Not because they are more powerful than parents.

Not at all.

It’s simply that once you enter into a power struggle, you may end up winning, but you do so only at the expense of the relationship.

Should we let them do whatever they want?

Am I saying that parents are to back off and just let teens do whatever they want?

Not on your life!

Shift the focus to yourselves

What I am saying is that, as parents, you have to work smarter instead of harder.

The first step involves a shift in your focus. Here’s what I mean:

Simply stated, the shift involves moving from what you want to make your teen do to focusing on what you are going to get yourselves to do as parents.

So how do we do that?

It involves a four-step process that helps you creatively solve parent teen difficulties and have fun doing it. I realize that’s a fairly bold statement. Read on and see what you think.

I call this four-step process Developing Your Parent’s Playbook.(tm) It’s my favorite skill to teach at seminars. Let’s take a look at each of the four steps.

Step 1: Identify the problem

Step 2: Identify one or two solutions you have tried that don’t work, even though it seems they should. This is where most parents get stuck. They keep on doing the same things that don’t work over and over again and expecting different results. The bottom line is this: If it’s not working, it’s not working, and it’s time to try something different.

Step 3: Here’s the fun part. Come up with creative, ridiculous, absurd, crazy and outlandish ideas that you would never do but are just fun to think about and get you laughing. Power struggles become so deadly-dull serious that we lose our sense of humor and therefore our creativity. The purpose of step 3 is to allow you to step back from the problem just a bit and laugh, so you can use your creativity again. I am always amazed at the natural creativity of parents in solving problems.

Step 4: Come up with creative, alternative solutions. Sometimes the seeds for solutions are in the crazy ideas from step 3. Other times, parents are able to find solutions they couldn’t see before.

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.