Why is it important to raise fearless children? Simply put; fears paralyze, crush self esteem and destroy dreams.

I’ve worked with hundreds of parents over the past few years that have trouble helping their children overcome fear. The reason? They themselves can’t break through the barrier of fear and it’s then passed down from generation to generation.

I’d like to offer hope first, then a challenge.

It is possible to live free from fearful anxiety attacks, constant worry, over exaggerating stories that perpetuate the fearful attacks going off in your mind. People achieve freedom from fear on a daily basis but it takes diligent practice and guided instruction.  You can handle it, but you must tell yourself you can and believe it.  I didn’t say it would be easy, just that it is possible.

Here are a few tips you can use to challenge yourself while encouraging your teenager.

1. Ask how your teenager perceives themselves – Does your teenager feel ugly? Unlovable? Like they don’t measure up? Be transparent with them if that is how you also feel, but understand it is a belief that can be dramatically altered by learning a few powerful concepts and techniques.

2. When the time ‘feels right’, let them know you’d like to help them move away from their pain, not towards it. – Say this in a gentle way. You are not the enemy but when a child feels hurt, they often forget that so the timing and delivery of your message is very important.

3. Ask what you can do to help them when they feel frightened. – No matter who we are, being frightened is something that can happen to the best of us. Let them know you want to help through their feelings of fear but they must get beyond it.  You may need assistance in this yourself so make a commitment to work through it together.  Often your teen will appreciate working toward the same goal, which can often bridge a very wide gap.

4. Hold them – That’s right, give them a hug or put your arm around their shoulder.  Remember that they sometimes want to be held to, no matter how big, how old, how macho, how silly or how angry they might be on the outside. They are still young on the inside just like you are.

5. Ask what they think some of their trigger points are that remind them of the original hurt. – If the pain is not resolved, released or forgiven, the pain is buried and brought up again with a trigger of something said or done. Forgiveness is the only way past this problem.

6. Spend a few minutes of each day just the two of you. – You don’t have to say one word, just be in the same room with them a few minutes of each day. You will be amazed at what they begin to share with you on their own after a few days or weeks of doing this simple thing.

7. Remind them, and yourself, to be patient. – It will take time to bring about the changes you both want to see in your relationship.

It’s about being there, being present, and connecting to the best relationship you could possibly have with your teen.

One of the most common problems of children at school is bullying. Bullying can lead to many other problems. For instance, your children may want to start skipping school because of fear and anxiety. Bullying can lower your children’s self esteem. Some victims of bullies may feel depressed. Other victims develop aggressive behaviors toward other children. Bullying can range from verbally teasing to physically hitting.

Unfortunately, approximately ten percent of children are the victims of bullies. Children who are quiet, anxious, sensitive, or small are more vulnerable for bulling. Believe it or not, most victims of bullies will not seek help from the teacher or parents, because they may fear the bullies. Therefore, it is important for the parents to learn how to recognize the signs of the problem. For instance, some children constantly complain about being teased at school. Other children may tell you that they are sick all the time to avoid the school.

If you know that your children are bullied at school, what should you do? Although, parents in many movies encourage their children to fight back, it is not the best thing to do. Your children can get hurt, and they can be in trouble for fighting back. You should teach your children to walk away, and they should tell the bully to stop. The bullies need to understand that their behavior will not be tolerated. Tell you children to talk to teacher to help. If it still does not work, you should schedule a meeting with the other parents and teacher.

Imagine what it would be like to have a future in which all your children grow up to be responsible adults and contributing members of society. Positive parenting is the approach to parenting that invests in kids and believes best supports all aspects of healthy child development. It helps create a lifelong warm, respectful and loving relationship between parent and child and most of all will help teach parents how to reward for good behavior and also help parents and children have a positive relationship.

To help achieve that goal, I’d like to provide the following positive parenting tips:

1. Learn how children develop and know your unique child. When it comes to your child, the real expert is you, the parent. Know all areas of your child’s development — physical, intellectual, social, emotional and moral — and remember there is nothing to be ashamed of if your child needs special help to progress at his or her own best rate.

2. All parents need to be their child’s first source of information. Start encouraging your children to ask questions now because it makes it easier for them to ask questions when they are older. Answer your child’s questions with honesty and openness so you can create a relationship of mutual trust and respect that can prevent your child from developing unsafe habits or taking unnecessary risks.

3. Many parents too often made the mistake of comparing children with their siblings or their friend’s kids. Doing so, damage a child’s self esteem. A better approach is to learn to cherish your child’s individuality. Support your child’s interests and talents. Try to spend time alone with each of your children every day. Praise your children’s differences and avoid comparing them or asking why they can’t be like someone else.

4. Make time for family activities have a positive impact on children and the memory it creates is priceless. It creates a sense of belonging to the children when their families take time to engage in common activities such as having meals together and sharing tasks and responsibilities, taking family vacations. Use family time to discuss need and feelings, to solve problems and promote cooperation.

Do you think about what you say to your child?

Do you understand that what you say to your child can affect him for the whole of his life?

Do you say things that edify and encourage your child?

A good parenting tip is to try to avoid using these five phrases with your child and then notice the difference it’ll make. Encourage him on his journey to becoming a more positive and self-confident child.

1 “Because I’m your parent that’s why.” This statement isn’t giving your child any information as to why he shouldn’t do what he is doing. It’s important that your child understands why he’s not allowed to do what he wants. My good parenting tip is “you should always have a reason as to why your child should or shouldn’t do something. and should explain this to him. ”

2. “Look at you sister/brother why can’t you be more like him/her?” It’s unfair to continually compare one of your children to his brother or sister. Your child will grow up feeling less than positive about himself and his abilities. These remarks will cause him pain, make him feel second-rate and could affect him for a life time. How to be a good parent tip says “look at the things your child can do and encourage him rather than point out what he can’t do.”

3. “Don’t worry about what other children think.”What others think may be extremely important to your child and can effect how they feel about themselves. A child wont worry so much about what other people think about them if they have very good self-esteem . All parenting tips should tell you to built this into your child’s life starting as soon as he’s born.

4 “Pull yourself together” What does this is really mean? Grab hold of yourself and tug as hard as you can? It’s not a good if a child whether boy or girl is never allowed to express how they feel. If using this expression because he’s expressing anger then you need to help him learn how to express this feeling in a different manner. If your child is sad he needs to be able to express his feelings of sadness within the surrounds of a loving family. My next one of my good parents tips is “teach your child how to express what he’s feeling in an open and honest manner.”

5 “If you do again that I’ll give you away” A young child fears being abandoned and your using this fear to try and frighten your child into changing his behavior. You’re not really going to do this; it’s a lie and if you continue lying to your child you’re child will learn not to trust what you say. He’ll also learn that lying is an ok thing to do. Next of my parenting ideas is “set the best example possible for your child”

Use these tips for parents and make a difference by using more positive phrases when speaking to your child.