For Students

* The Law of a Good Start: Both parents and students say they get off to a great start and then begin to fall off. It’s human nature. We start to do well and then think we have arrived and can begin to coast. It doesn’t work.

* The Law of Staying Out in Front: Keep doing the things that got you off to a good start, or do them even more. Another way to stay out in front is to take whatever deadlines are given to you and move them up. In this way, you can be done in plenty of time and can relax.

* The Law of Manageable Pieces: Once you hit middle school, you have many classes and all the work that comes with each class. If you look at it as a whole, you will become overwhelmed. Break it down into smaller pieces, one class at a time, one assignment at a time. Do that one assignment well and then move on to the next. Doing small pieces one at a time allows you to accomplish a great deal more than you thought you could.

* The Law of Procrastination: Beware the words “I’ll do it later” because later rarely comes. If you can get a handle on beating procrastination now, you will be way ahead of most folks. The next time you are tempted to procrastinate, put it off. Tell yourself you will procrastinate later and do it now instead.

For Parents

*The Law of Report Cards: Report Cards can show much more than grades. If grades are low in the morning classes and higher in the afternoon, it could be an indication of too little sleep. If the grades are consistently lower after lunch, what might be going on at lunchtime?

It’s also important to remember that grades are merely a measure of aptitude, effort and ability. They are not a measure of your child’s worth.

* The Law of Knowing: Here are three things every parent should take the time to get to know: your child’s teacher; the material your child is being taught; your child’s friends and the parents of those friends.

Go to school. Meet the teachers. Ask questions. If you want to do something radical;, invite your child’s teacher over for dinner. You can get to know better someone who is influencing you child; the teacher can get to know your student’s family; your child gets to see that teachers are regular people.

* The Law of Different Perception: This one is especially important for parents. For the most part, parents and kids have very different perceptions when it comes to school. The parent’s perception is that we work for a living and want to do well at our job. Kids don’t work, so school is their job, and, of course, they should want to do well at it.

Often, however, the perception of kids is that school is their social world, interrupted by six or seven classes a day. These differing perceptions often create a wide gap to bridge.

* The Law of Importance: This is probably the most difficult one to flesh out in the real world. At some point, school needs to become more important to your child than it is to you. Somewhere along the line, she must find something to be excited about that is separate from your desires and expectations.

At some point, students need to be put in charge of school and be responsible for the outcome.

Research suggests that parental involvement is a key ingredient to support success in school.   But lots of parents don’t feel qualified to tackle the responsibility of teaching and wonder what they can do to help.  Following are some things you can do and talk about to help your kids succeed–and feel good about it.

1) Make learning relevant–Make sure your child sees what he’s learning reflected in the “real” world. Ask questions. Find out what interested him/her during school lessons…then find examples related to those topics of interest and expand your conversation. Look for real world stories on the internet, at the library or in the newspaper or magazines. By supplementing their at-school learning experience at home, you’re expanding their vision and promoting the idea that more info can be fun–and that what they learn is relevant.

2) Be cautious about how you talk about “learning” and “education” with your kids and around them. Kids inherit your attitudes and ideas about everything–they listen, they watch and they accept your beliefs as truth. It is important to avoid negative statements (i.e. how you had “difficulty in school” and that “teachers are unfair”). Instead, share your positive experiences in learning (i.e. how something you learned was useful or remembering your favorite teacher or an inspiring experience in school).

3) Model goal-setting behaviors. Kids are usually pretty “immediate”. They live in the moment and can’t always see the value of long-term goals–and sometimes they lose patience.   When you talk about your own goals and how long-term planning helped you achieve your goals (and how much better off you are as a result), you’re demonstrating a pattern of behavior and thinking. If you talk without lecturing, kids will hear your stories and (without effort) assume your attitude as “the way we do things in our family”.

4) Demonstrate your commitment to your child’s success. Be sure you’ve supplied the “tools” for success: purchase a calendar or to-do list notebook to help him/her keep on schedule; dedicate a quiet, comfortable and well-lit space for home-work;  maintain (and re-supply as necessary) a handy assortment of school/study supplies (paper, pencils, etc).

5) Organize your living space to reserve a special area for your child’s school papers. Dedicate a shelf or table top for books, backpack, school communications, lunch money, etc. When school materials are blatantly kept in a prominent area (rather than stashed away), you’re providing a constant visual reminder of the value of being prepared for school–And, important items are less likely to get lost or forgotten.

6) Be a “Coach”–actively support your child with encouraging words and confidence-building praise.   It isn’t your job to teach your child when you’re helping with homework–teaching is the teacher’s role. Teachers assign homework to give students an opportunity to review what was learned in school and practice skills that were taught and exercise independent responsibility. Kids will be more willing to buckle down with their homework (and actually learn) when they feel positive support from you rather than reacting to nagging, teasing or threats of punishment. Coaches get more “work” out of their team with “you-can-do-it” type statements than they would with “do-it-or-else” threats. So, one more time:  be a “Coach” for your kids to support their school success.