One of the basic issues we need to understand is that parents and teens view school very differently. This is important because often we believe that our kids look at school the same way we do.

In many cases, nothing could be further from the truth.

For parents, we work and want to do well in our jobs. So we think because our kids don’t work full time or at all, then school is their full-time job, and they should want to excel.

For teens, as well as many younger kids, school is their social world interrupted by six to seven classes a day.

This different view is the cause for many dinner-table squabbles.

Every now and then, as parents describe the problems with grades, they will say, “We got a D in that class.”

I’ve thought of many responses to that statement, most of which I don’t share. What I do say is, “Excuse me, who is this we? Do you go to class or does your child?”

The point is that at some time – the earlier the better – school must become more important to your child than it is to you.

Having laid out these two basic principles, let’s look at some solutions for handling a less than exciting report card.

1) You’ll want to meet with the teacher of a class in which your child has done poorly. You should ask the teacher: What he thinks might be in the way of your child doing well in this subject; does she think your child has the tools to do well in this class; how are other kids of equal ability doing in this class; what does he recommend your child (notice, not we) do to improve in this class?

2) Learn how to read a report card. There is much more information there than just grades. There’s also conduct and attendance to check out. Look for patterns. If your kid got a good grade and great conduct in one class and poor grades and bad conduct in another, take a look at what the differences are between those two classes. Obviously, the child has the ability in one class. What’s in the way in the other?

3) Often kids will blame the teacher. “She doesn’t like me!” This is an opportunity to teach real-world living in which not all people, bosses included, are going to like you. At the same time, you still need to know how to do well in a situation, even when there are people who don’t like you.

4) Here’s a little trick of the trade: Determine which class comes right before your child’s lunch period. If grades, attendance and conduct are significantly different after lunch than before, the next question is what’s happening at lunch that is getting in the way?

5) Make two copies of your child’s report card _ one for you and one for your child. Draw a horizontal line to the right of each letter grade. Next to the end of that line, write the next letter grade up. For example, if the grade is an F, write a D. If it’s a D, write a C, and so on. These one-step-up grades are the goals for the next grading period.

This may sound like settling for less, but it really is not. It gives your child a manageable goal to reach. Over a couple of grading periods, this strategy can move low grades to high grades. If they go higher than the goal, then that’s a good thing. If they go lower than the goal, it’s time for some consequences.

6) It’s been my experience that grounding a kid for the entire grading period is in most cases counterproductive. For adults, nine weeks is not that long. For kids, however, it’s forever, and you get rapidly diminishing returns.

Instead, start with strong consequences, and then as effort, behavior and grades improve, let the rope out a little at a time, just enough for them to grow themselves.

It’s also useful to link grades to something that is important to them. As one father said to me last year, “In our family, Ds don’t drive.”

PS

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

PPS:

As a side note, may I suggest an incredible book, as you may be looking at developing your finances here as well- Seed Money.

In some respects, you do not know what parenting is until your children hit their teens. It’s a whole new ball game. All of a sudden you realize that there is this huge gap between you and your kid and the more you try to fix it, the more it seems to broaden. Communication between you and your child seems to be dead. These are probably the toughest years!!

So what do you do to make it better?

Here are a few tips:

• Try and get into their heads. Do not assume that because you do not like something, your teen does not like it too.

• Remember to always be truthful to your teen. No matter how old your child grows, he/she looks at you as an example. If you want your teen to be truthful, you need to first be truthful. Honesty is the best policy you can instil in to them

• Do not jump into advising; first listen to what your teen has to say. Be empathetic.

• Your job during their teens is to spur and encourage them. If you are one who keeps criticizing, they are never going to want to communicate with you.

• You need to be available for them whenever they need you. They may want to talk in the middle of the night, it is important that you talk to them when they are willing to talk.

• If you are wrong, apologize. It takes a big person to apologize. Your teen will respect you much more for it.

• Don’t wait for your teen to ask you for help, sense it and then do your best to help them

• Respect your teen. Treat him/her like an adult. Give then their space.

• Remember to use words like “please”, “thank you” and “I love you” frequently with your teens.

PS

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

PPS:

As a side note, may I suggest an incredible book, as you may be looking at developing your finances here as well- Seed Money.

One of the most common problems of children at school is bullying. Bullying can lead to many other problems. For instance, your children may want to start skipping school because of fear and anxiety. Bullying can lower your children’s self esteem. Some victims of bullies may feel depressed. Other victims develop aggressive behaviors toward other children. Bullying can range from verbally teasing to physically hitting.

Unfortunately, approximately ten percent of children are the victims of bullies. Children who are quiet, anxious, sensitive, or small are more vulnerable for bulling. Believe it or not, most victims of bullies will not seek help from the teacher or parents, because they may fear the bullies. Therefore, it is important for the parents to learn how to recognize the signs of the problem. For instance, some children constantly complain about being teased at school. Other children may tell you that they are sick all the time to avoid the school.

If you know that your children are bullied at school, what should you do? Although, parents in many movies encourage their children to fight back, it is not the best thing to do. Your children can get hurt, and they can be in trouble for fighting back. You should teach your children to walk away, and they should tell the bully to stop. The bullies need to understand that their behavior will not be tolerated. Tell you children to talk to teacher to help. If it still does not work, you should schedule a meeting with the other parents and teacher.

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

It is not always easy being a parent. We teach our children how to treat us. And often from an early age they have us wrapped around their small fingers.

So we are not unfairly taken advantage of we as parents must set boundaries early on. Without these our children will run wild. Today parents seem more lenient – certainly more so than our own parents. Too much freedom can actually harm our children.

By setting boundaries, we are letting our children know exactly what we expect of them. And what we disapprove of. Yes our children may very well kick and scream but it is in our own best interests (and theirs) to set boundaries and then consistently reinforce them.

Children feel safe when boundaries are set. Yes they will test you and you must be firm and unrelenting. Once you let your guard down once, you have lost some self respect and will be walked all over.

Setting boundaries for every routines are essential to ensure peaceful every-day living. Where your children can and cannot eat in the house. What time they must go to bed. How they are expected to behave are three general boundaries that must be set.

The trick in setting these rules is to not make them sound like rules. Explain why that particular boundary is set and why it is in their best interest. For example you can talk about their bed-time as being essential to have enough energy to wake up early the next morning and start playing.

State that so-and-so child goes to bed earlier than them and they are lucky to be able to stay up later than them. Tell your children stories about what it was like when you are their age. Children enjoy listening to these – especially when it makes them feel better about their circumstance.

Have consequences if they do not adhere to the boundary. And make sure you carry out what you threaten to do. That way your child knows you are serious and will think twice about pushing the boundary next time.

Being firm and loving is the key in setting and reinforcing boundaries with your child.

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

As children we were hopefully all taught the value of a dollar; that the amount of work we put in will determine our reward. But in a day and age where children seem more materialistic than ever, it can be increasingly difficult to instill the proper values in our children. There are several parenting tips that experts agree will go a long way to ensuring your child has an appropriate and healthy attitude towards money.

First and foremost, gift giving and receiving is one of childhood’s most important lessons. More and more children’s parties – abbreviated to fit into an hour and a half at a location away from home – have simply eliminated the tradition of opening presents in front of party guests. Sadly, this has also eliminated a truly priceless lesson for children.

Parenting tips of merit include offering your children a multitude of opportunities to give and receive gifts politely. Not only does this offer an invaluable lesson in social graces but it makes a significant point about the value of money. If children are involved in purchasing their friends’ gifts – including staying within a budgetary limit – they discover how much things really cost. Additionally they can witness firsthand how much joy the gift has given their friend.

Conversely, when your child receives a gift, they will be more inclined to express their appreciation for it because they realize what a short distance a dollar can stretch. They can learn to accept a present graciously – even if it’s not exactly what they wanted. The gift is in the thought not in the dollar value attached to it. This is one of the most important parenting tips in existence.

Additional parenting tips concerning the value of money include the attachment of values to everyday events. For example, a family outing does not have to be expensive to be worthwhile and fun. Teach your children the value of spending time together. Spending the day at a public park can be just as much fun as spending the day at a pricey amusement park.

Parenting tips that most experts agree upon include the importance of steering clear of monetary rewards attached to expected chores. Getting paid to make his/her bed will likely not teach your child any valuable lessons. Certain jobs around the house are expected – we all have to do our part to ensure that our homes run smoothly. Teach your children that your family is a unit that requires the effort of each team member for it to be successful. If you wish to offer chores above and beyond everyday household jobs at a set allowance then by all means do so. But keep one of the most important parenting tips in mind: paying your child to do what is already expected is looked at like a bribe and will ultimately not be valued.

But the greatest parenting tips that can be offered include the importance of listening to your child’s attitudes about money. You may be surprised by how your attitude has been passed seamlessly to your children. Value money and your children will value it as well.

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

Question – We are having increasing difficulty dealing with curfews in our home. Our teenagers want to stay out later and later and it’s hard for us to trust them. What can we do?

Answer – Isn’t it amazing how kids believe that they can have fun only after a certain time of evening (or early morning)?

Curfew ripe for power struggles

Curfew can be an area ripe for power struggles, conflict and frustration. When the subject of curfew comes up, many parents hear the same old refrains:

“Everyone else’s parents let them stay out as long as they want.” (check it out, it’s probably not accurate)

“When I get to be a parent, I’m going to let my kids stay out as late as they want.” (right)

If not handled properly, curfew can become a battleground with the parents playing warden to the teenage inmates, and kids sneaking out and/ or not coming home in order to “prove” their independence.

Control vs. management

Curfew can also be an area that can illustrate a useful model for managaging the teenage years.

Many times when parents phone me about a teenager, they say something like, “I can’t seem to control my kid.”

The problem here is one of control vs. management. Trying to control a teenager is like trying to make a gorilla wear pants:

It’s only going to frustrate you and make the gorilla angry.

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

When we teach our children to feel good about themselves, we teach them how to handle life’s disappointments.

When they do things right, acknowledge it.

Find one or two things about what they did to complement. Don’t go overboard on the praise or they may not believe you are sincere. Simply point out one or two things that you liked about what they did.

Tell them they should be happy about their accomplishment.

This is one trick that most parents miss. We want our kids to learn to look to themselves for validation. We do not want them doing things to make others happy. So lets include one simple sentence in our praise. “You must be very proud of yourself.” or “I’ll bet you are happy with your performance.”

By including a simple sentence that guides them to feel good, your children learn to look to themselves for validation.

Acknowledge their mistakes – but don’t dwell on them.

Be honest. If they tried something and failed, acknowledge the failure, but point out at least one thing they did right in their attempt. “Yes, the house you built with blocks fell down, but I really liked the colors you chose. Let’s try again.” or “I know your shoe came untied, but I’ll bet you are really proud of the fact that you tied them all by yourself today!” or “Yes, you did miss the game winning basket. but you should be proud of the two three point shots you did make.”

These three tips will go a long way in teaching your children to look inside themselves for validation and to shrug off the failures and try again.

Not only are you teaching your children to feel good about themselves, you are strengthening your relationship with them. Your children are seeing you as a loving parent who truly cares how they feel. Even the busiest parents can take a few seconds to teach their children how to feel good about themselves.

The work you do while your children are small will make a world of difference when they become teenagers. If they view you as caring and supportive, they will continue to trust you as they grow older. If they view you as critical and unsupportive, they will look to others to give advice when they reach their teens. Who do you want to guide your teenager – you or your teenager’s friends.

Parenting is easier than most parents think.

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

Many families are not good at solving their problems because they move into drama as soon as one person disagrees with another. Many families avoid bringing up important issues because they know it will escalate into a full blown drama.

In some families it is the children who blow up and cause the drama – causing the parents to lose control of the discussion. In other families, the children are the quiet ones while the parent(s) take a discussion into a drama.

Following the steps below, you can solve your family’s problems faster, easier – and without all the drama.

1. Identify the problem.

Start by simply stating the problem. Remember to keep it from being an accusation.

Example:

“You keep forgetting to take the garbage out.”  (Accusation)

“I don’t like the garbage piling up in the kitchen. Can we talk about a solution to this?” (Problem solving)

2. Listen.

There may be reasons you aren’t aware of. Allow your family to talk without fear that you will blow up at their reply. Never make fun of their reasons or their suggestions for solutions.

If you want them to participate in future problem solving, show respect.

3. Agree on a plan.

After you have made several suggestions for a solution and have listened to their suggestion, agree on one plan that will work.

If you can’t agree, don’t escalate the discussion into an argument. Table it for tomorrow. Simply say: “I don’t think we are going to reach an agreement today. Let’s sleep on this and talk about it again tomorrow.”

As I say in my Parenting Class, never tack the work “OK” at the end of your request. That only gives an opening to come up with a reason not to. If you find yourself ending your requests with “OK?”, practice requesting without using that word.

4. Appreciate efforts.

Once you have agreed on a solution, appreciate efforts. Your kids might not be perfect every time, but try to point out when they do good.

If they only do part of the agreed upon solution, try to find a way to show that you appreciate the effort and find one good thing to point out, but let them know that you still expect the task completed.

Example:

“I see that you took the garbage out. I appreciate that. I still expect a new bag to be placed in the bin.”

Practice solving problems using this technique and before you know it, your children will look forward to problem solving with you. Why shouldn’t they? If you follow these simple instructions, your children are getting your full attention AND you are showing them respect. Something every child craves.

You can learn how to make raising your children more enjoyable with a Parenting Class.

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

If you think parenting one child drives you to the nearest
Starbucks for a double espresso latte, try parenting two. See if you can relate to this article on parenting:

The day my twin daughters were born was the proudest day of
my life. I was a celebrity in the hospital while I recovered
from my labor. Little did I know that the days, months and
years ahead would have me crying, screaming, threatening and
sometimes regretting bringing these children into the world.

I was a young mother just out of college with a bright future
and big plans. When I discovered that I was pregnant, I put
some of those big plans on hold to be become the perfect
parent to my perfect little angels. I spent the first four years of their lives catering
to their ever whim. We went to parks, amusement arcades,
the zoo. We participated in all the Mom and tot activities
at the YMCA. It was a wonderful time for all of us.

The problems started in junior high school. One day I
visited the school,unannounced, signed in at the office
and was allowed to walk around the school to find my precious
darlings. What a found was not one but two “little floozy(s)” dressed
in skin-tight jeans with mascara and eyeliner so thick that
they resembled twin raccoons. I was mortified and embarrassed.

Not only were they changing clothes when they arrived
at school, they were changing their behavior. Their
Behavior was not good. My little darlings were out of control.

I was livid. That night my rage could not be controled.
I threatened them. I screamed at them and cried. It was
this moment that I regretted ever bringing them into the world.
For the next week, I barely spoke to them. I did
not prepare a meal for them nor did I provide
any spending money for their little extras.

I did not know what to do. At work the next
day, I cried on my friend’s shoulder. She led me
to a breakthrough that changed all
of our lives. A summary of some of the things
she told me I still use to deal with my children.

1) Do not try to be a friend to your children
but treat them as if they were your friend.
Always be the parent. Parent your children
with respect and value their opinions. You don’t scream at your friends, you don’t
berate them or threaten. offer constructive
criticism. Always try to couch your tone and
the words you use with a true concern for their
feelings.

2) The key to getting your children to listen
to you is – listen to them.

3) Always know who their friends are. Make it
a point to observe your children with their
friends. You will get a better insight
into how your children behave when you are
not around.

4) When your children talk about what their
friends are doing… they are really talking
about themselves. Offer advice as if you
are talking about their friend… not to them.

5) Build a relationship with each child
individually and then collectively.

6) Teach little acts of kindness These kind
thoughts and action accumulate over time.
Kindess forms a shield around the relationship
for the hard knocks that are sure to come.

7) Demand that they get involved with an
extra curricular activity. Then make the
same demand of yourself to get involved
With their school, activity, or club.

Being a parent takes work. The challenges
and conflicts in our parent-child relationship
did not change overnight. But the conflicts
diminished and our relationship did change
for the better.

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.

Imagine what it would be like to have a future in which all your children grow up to be responsible adults and contributing members of society. Positive parenting is the approach to parenting that invests in kids and believes best supports all aspects of healthy child development. It helps create a lifelong warm, respectful and loving relationship between parent and child and most of all will help teach parents how to reward for good behavior and also help parents and children have a positive relationship.

To help achieve that goal, I’d like to provide the following positive parenting tips:

1. Learn how children develop and know your unique child. When it comes to your child, the real expert is you, the parent. Know all areas of your child’s development — physical, intellectual, social, emotional and moral — and remember there is nothing to be ashamed of if your child needs special help to progress at his or her own best rate.

2. All parents need to be their child’s first source of information. Start encouraging your children to ask questions now because it makes it easier for them to ask questions when they are older. Answer your child’s questions with honesty and openness so you can create a relationship of mutual trust and respect that can prevent your child from developing unsafe habits or taking unnecessary risks.

3. Many parents too often made the mistake of comparing children with their siblings or their friend’s kids. Doing so, damage a child’s self esteem. A better approach is to learn to cherish your child’s individuality. Support your child’s interests and talents. Try to spend time alone with each of your children every day. Praise your children’s differences and avoid comparing them or asking why they can’t be like someone else.

4. Make time for family activities have a positive impact on children and the memory it creates is priceless. It creates a sense of belonging to the children when their families take time to engage in common activities such as having meals together and sharing tasks and responsibilities, taking family vacations. Use family time to discuss need and feelings, to solve problems and promote cooperation.

Further Resources

I have also found that it is important to ensure that you are as focused as you can be, given all your responsibilities as a parent, and time consuming tasks you have to get through. This is where the Success Strategies System comes in.

You can learn the tips and get the information yopu need, in small daily chunks, in as little as around five or six minutes daily.

I also highly recommend the Self Help Database, loaded with fantastic ebooks on a range of subjects for your improvement, development, and interest.

For personal development (always a plus with parenting), may I direct you here.