As children we were hopefully all taught the value of a dollar; that the amount of work we put in will determine our reward. But in a day and age where children seem more materialistic than ever, it can be increasingly difficult to instill the proper values in our children. There are several parenting tips that experts agree will go a long way to ensuring your child has an appropriate and healthy attitude towards money.

First and foremost, gift giving and receiving is one of childhood’s most important lessons. More and more children’s parties – abbreviated to fit into an hour and a half at a location away from home – have simply eliminated the tradition of opening presents in front of party guests. Sadly, this has also eliminated a truly priceless lesson for children.

Parenting tips of merit include offering your children a multitude of opportunities to give and receive gifts politely. Not only does this offer an invaluable lesson in social graces but it makes a significant point about the value of money. If children are involved in purchasing their friends’ gifts – including staying within a budgetary limit – they discover how much things really cost. Additionally they can witness firsthand how much joy the gift has given their friend.

Conversely, when your child receives a gift, they will be more inclined to express their appreciation for it because they realize what a short distance a dollar can stretch. They can learn to accept a present graciously – even if it’s not exactly what they wanted. The gift is in the thought not in the dollar value attached to it. This is one of the most important parenting tips in existence.

Additional parenting tips concerning the value of money include the attachment of values to everyday events. For example, a family outing does not have to be expensive to be worthwhile and fun. Teach your children the value of spending time together. Spending the day at a public park can be just as much fun as spending the day at a pricey amusement park.

Parenting tips that most experts agree upon include the importance of steering clear of monetary rewards attached to expected chores. Getting paid to make his/her bed will likely not teach your child any valuable lessons. Certain jobs around the house are expected – we all have to do our part to ensure that our homes run smoothly. Teach your children that your family is a unit that requires the effort of each team member for it to be successful. If you wish to offer chores above and beyond everyday household jobs at a set allowance then by all means do so. But keep one of the most important parenting tips in mind: paying your child to do what is already expected is looked at like a bribe and will ultimately not be valued.

But the greatest parenting tips that can be offered include the importance of listening to your child’s attitudes about money. You may be surprised by how your attitude has been passed seamlessly to your children. Value money and your children will value it as well.

As children grow from childhood into adolescence, it’s important for parents to remember what the purpose of parenting and the purpose of adolescence is all about.

The purpose of parenting

Parenting is one of those rare jobs in which one of the primary goals is to work yourself out of a job. One way this is done is by teaching the adolescent how to be more and more in charge of himself.

In no way am I saying that teens should be allowed to do whatever they want. As a matter of fact, there are times when teens need more attention and structure than do younger children. There are times when parents tend to over structure the time of children and understructure the time of adolescents.

Controlling vs. managing teens

The difference between trying to control vs. manage a teenager is all in how you approach the situation.

A management approach meets these six key criteria:

1. The parents are clearly in charge.

2. The teen, over time, learns and earns the ability to be more in charge of himself.

3. There is a clear map for continually building trust and responsibility.

4. The parents have a way to monitor the progress of the teen.

5. There are clear consequences when the teen demonstrates that he cannot be in charge of himself.

6. There is a map for how to earn back trust and responsibility when it is lost.

Children have their own minds and so it’s only normal that they express their thoughts and feelings in different ways. For parents, defiant children can pose a big challenge especially when their behavior becomes more difficult and disruptive both in the home and in school.

It’s only normal to encounter defiant children at a certain stage. During the so-called “terrible two’s” and just when your child has reached the phase when he wants to insist on having his way, you will have your hands full, trying to get the kid to behave himself. Understand that it is only natural for a child to manifest independence-seeking behavior at certain points in his life. This only becomes a cause for concern when kids turn into oppositional defiant children, when the behavior becomes disruptive and when the outbursts happen all too frequently over a certain period of time.

Oppositional defiant behavior usually starts at age two and can continue to worsen if not addressed. In school, oppositional defiant children tend to have much difficulty interacting with other children and often face rejection because of their attitudes. Defiant children start by violating the rules at home and then move on to the rules in school unless the disorder is treated.

Defiant kids should be dealt with as soon as possible to make sure that they donít carry the oppositional behavior when they grow up. Research show that parenting techniques geared at treating oppositional defiant children are more likely to work when the child is below the age of ten.

Parents with defiant children will naturally feel frustrated. Overwhelmed, many parents resort to severe punishment, but nothing seems to work. This is exactly where the problem lies. While severe consequences might seem appropriate, outcome has a lot to do with the immediacy of delivery. Consequences to misdemeanors should be delivered within a few seconds following the act instead of waiting minutes or hours to act.

It is essential to be consistent in giving out consequences when dealing with oppositional defiant children. Most parents tend to tolerate a bad attitude until they can’t take it anymore, at which point they overreact and start lashing out at the child.

Nip the problem in the bud by responding to poor behavior promptly. Don’t wait for your patience to run out.

Learning how to change your parenting techniques is important especially if what you’re doing is not working. You can’t teach your child to respect the rules when you’re focused on your frustration. Outbursts are just aggravated by frustrated parents so always maintain a calm front when you deal with a defiant child.

To learn how to change your parenting strategies, a good behavioral program specifically designed for defiant children will help. Studies show that behavioral techniques used at home are more effective because both the parent and the child learn how to change their behavior in productive ways. Best of all, their relationship improves as they learn how to work together to overcome oppositional defiant behavior.

Success without fulfilment equals failure and a lot of our pain comes from one or more of the six not being met. Now the good thing about that is; you’re about to learn what those 6 needs are as well as some options for ensuring that you are meeting your own needs and then helping to meet your children’s needs (remember the aircraft scenario, where you put your own mask on before you put the mask on of others.)

We can sometimes look at the challenges we have with ourselves, our children and partner as a problem and get bogged down in the pain or we can focus on creating an opportunity to learn, grow and develop our relationship. You may also find that as you resolve your own needs those of your children may be met and therefore the issue disappears. There’s this theory, and it is only a theory, that the world around you, is a bit like a mirror and it reflects what is going on within you. So theoretically if you clear “stuff” up within yourself by meeting your needs then some of the issues that are faced by those you love may also disappear. Mmmmmm, interesting stuff.

Now I know that that may sound like new age hippy stuff about embracing problems and being at one with the world. The thing is sometimes it’s not about what you are doing; it’s about who you are BEING. We learn more from our mistakes in life than from our successes. It’s not what is going on in your life, but how you respond to it that counts; it’s about BEING response-able.

It’s interesting that as you learn about the 6 needs you will instantly recognise in your life when the need is not being met. How? Well normally we will ‘act out’, and that’s you as well as your children, when our needs are not met. It’s interesting, especially when you start to look at your children and their behaviour, then look at what is going on when they are ‘acting out’ that you can start to recognise that one or more needs are not being met. You can then start to help your child meet their needs in a more ecological (good for them, your family and the wider world) way.

The thing is Parenthood is one of those things that didn’t come with a handbook. Some people didn’t even apply for the job and yet here you are responsible for the wellbeing and development of another one, or more, human beings. Now that used to scare the living daylights out of me; now it only scares me a little bit;). The reason being is sometimes it’s not about getting it right all the time, it’s not about doing the right thing and being politically correct all the time, the key is your intention behind the action.

Children of any age can see through adults like we are made of glass and if your intentions are misplaced then they will see right through you. It’s better to be up front and honest than to try and manipulate your children into doing something. Now I know that sometimes we don’t tell our children the whole truth and nothing but the whole truth, because it’s also our job to protect them from ‘stuff’ that may be going on in the family, whether it is financial worries, relationship problems or anything else. Just remember be as honest as you can. Be yourself and stop trying to be the perfect parent, whatever that happens to be. One of my sons said to me when he was about three…”Mum, you’re the best mum in the world” and yes I felt rather smug…then he said “Auntie Shirley is the best mum in the world for Jessica and Auntie Linda is the best mum in the world for Lewis, because we picked you to be our mum”. Talk about being insightful! You are the best mum or dad for your child, so stop trying to get it right and start having fun and play around with being the best parent you can be. Oh and when you do make a mistake, apologise, there’s nothing like being a good role model. We expect our children to apologise and sometimes forget to do so ourselves.

It’s important to remember that how you go about getting your needs met will either empower or dis-empower you. There are two ways to have the tallest building in the world; you can build one yourself or tear everyone else’s down.

Fulfilment is where you do things that are VERY IMPORTANT, BUT NOT URGENT. Satisfying your needs contains all of the actions that we “never get to” because we are “so busy”. So as you read through the upcoming e:mails, think about how you can have your needs met and think about you can help your child meet their needs; and here’s the thing, I want you to commit to making the time to make the changes and to take action. Can you do that? Yes? Great. No, then maybe your not ready to make the change…. yet.

Do you have a child between the ages of 5 and 9? That special season is a time of enormous growth and development and can be a whirlwind to observe. I am privileged to be parenting my fourth elementary-age child. Here are some of my favorite 10 parenting tips for early school-age kids.

1. It’s a big world.

The first few years of school are exciting and stressful. Learning how to listen to adults besides mom and dad and being on their own for several hours each day is a tremendous leap forward in a child’s life. As a parent, keep in mind this transition your child is moving through and be patient and understanding.

2. Give them your confidence.

A child this age often will doubt his abilities. Sometimes he will verbalize this lack of self-confidence; sometimes it stays his little secret. You can help him by sharing your own confidence in his abilities with him. Be matter-of-fact about his talents and express your utter confidence in him, even if you have your own set of concerns.

3. Be interested.

What is your child learning about school? How did recess go? What is her favorite part of school? What is bugging her? Staying interested in your child’s daily life goes a long ways towards establishing a healthy on-going relationship.

4. Friendships count.

An elementary-age child is learning a lot about friendships. What works and frustratingly, what doesn’t. They are also learning that families operate differently; what is a vital rule in your own family may not matter at all in another family. Learning that people do things differently is an important lesson at this stage.

5. Talk values.

This is the age to solidify what values are important to your family with your child. Ideas such as:

- We are kind. Why is this important?
- We are fair, even when others are not.
- We tell the truth, even when it gets us into trouble.

These important concepts MUST be cemented in your child now if you want him to live by them when he gets to the teen years.

6. Don’t overload.

In this day of multiple after school activities, it’s easy to pile on too much for the average primary-schooler. Her main ‘job’ is school, so give adequate time, space and support to homework. Once that is finished, free playtime is important at this age as most kids spend several hours a day sitting at a desk and being quiet.

7. Family time is a priority.

Daily dinnertime together, a weekly game night, chores done as a team, a quiet time reading or enjoying music together, playing sports as a family; any of these ideas and many, many more are great ways to foster a sense of family in your home. Make sure you make together-time a priority.

8. Celebrate the team.

Kids this age need to know they are a part of something bigger than themselves and the family structure can fill that need beautifully. Worshipping, playing and working together are smart ways to build your family’s strength for the years ahead as well as enjoy each other today.

9. Have a family ‘thing’.

Drawing on parenting tip #8, decide on a fun hobby the whole family can enjoy and jump right in. You can bike, go camping, build model trains, raise bunnies, volunteer in your community, or investigate the stars together. Trust me, nothing will build family memories easier or better than a shared family hobby.

10. Teach personal responsibility.

This parenting tip is vital for your child’s long-term well-being. And it’s simple enough to instill. Chores, homework and learning new skills like musical instruments or sports activities are excellent ways to teach your school-aged child more and more about being responsible for himself and his possessions.

Now you have 10 parenting tips for elementary-age children. Each one of these tips has been time-tested in my home and thousands of other homes over the years. These parenting tips work…but only if you PUT them to work with your family. Enjoy your family more by taking the guesswork out of parenting. Establish these simple guidelines and reduce your parenting stress load today.