In the past, single parents were looked upon with pity and shame. Before divorce was so common, it was viewed as highly unfortunate, and single parenting was regarded as sad. Though divorce is never a happy occasion, the circumstances surrounding single parenting today are much more varied and much less grim. Many single mothers and fathers are raising children alone by choice and happy to be doing it.

Single Parenting in the Black Community

The African American community is one that has been dealing with single-parent households for many generations. In the past, single mothers raising black children have had to do so for numerous reasons, even outside of divorce. The statistics involving black males and early death (by violent crime or otherwise) was one factor. Incarceration rates among black males of child-rearing age were also responsible for the fact that most black single parents were women in the past.

The landscape of single parenting in the African-American community, as in other races has changed considerably over the last couple of decades. Single fathers are increasingly taking on the responsibility for raising children. Also, single mothers and single fathers are sharing responsibility of all aspects of child rearing.

Also, the circumstances surrounding single parenting have changed considerably, broadening the range of reasons it happens in the first place. More and more people are having children out of wedlock, simply for the objective of having children. Though these choices are still considered to be unconventional, they are more widely accepted today than they ever were before.

Issues and Concerns

For mothers raising black children alone, there are several factors that must be taken into consideration. One of the factors is finances. If a single mother is also the single financial provider, she is often working full time, and may even work more than one job. In this case, adequate childcare must be arranged. For school-aged children, the cost of before and after school care can be easier for single parents to afford. If the child or children are too young for school, then the single parent must be able to afford full-time child care or at least be able to rely on the help of a grandparent or other relative that can help care for the children while the parent is out earning a living for the family.

Another consideration of black single parents is access to suitable male role models. Single mothers raising black children have traditionally struggled with this, as there isn’t always a black male in the family that children can look to as a role model. Fortunately, there are more and more African-American “heroes” either in leadership positions, in the media, or in the community. Big brother and big sister programs offer access to role model material that black children can relate to and spend time with. Many of the organizations that provide matching services for children and “role models” promote healthy, long-term relationships that make all the difference in the lives of children being raised by black single parents.

Stay at home mothers, for the most part those who are adjusted to working full-time outside of the home in the labor force will frequently relatively fast determine the big value of having the fellowship of other adults when they join a parenting group.

Parenting groups are becoming more and more common all through the world as more mothers begin to abandon the labor force in order to remain home and care for their younger children.

Office chitchat and meetings with colleagues may well seem run of the mill to some folks; however a stay at mom will frequently miss the public contact and banter that occurs routinely in the normal office. Consequently, parenting groups are one option that may impart the social channel that the stay at home mom needs.

Depending on the personality of the individual, the category of parenting group that will optimally balance with her routine may well vary. There are many distinct kinds of parenting groups that could be affiliated with churches, schools, social groups and even simply a group of neighborhood moms who are looking for a little companionship.

Parenting groups are not just for mothers, there are scores of groups that will politely accept dads with wide open arms. There are groups for brand new mothers and stay at home mothers, as previously noted, nevertheless one also finds many different parenting groups available to be there for mothers and fathers with offspring of all ages.

Parents of kids with out of the ordinary needs may well discover that their medical practitioners may perhaps refer them to groups intended to encourage those parenting special needs kids. Groups include those for parents of offspring with emotional, physical, learning, or mental disabilities. A support group is a vehicle where the moms and dads can give vent to frustration, search for guidance and advice and be given encouraging support that they are succeeding as a parent.

Regardless of the situation, most stay at home mothers find parenting groups to be a remarkable method to connect with other moms, to introduce their children to brand new friends and to enjoy some adult time while the offspring are occupied. Out of these parenting groups often branch off play dates, birthday parties and even very meaningful friendships. A group of other parents who can relate with each other makes an wonderful social circle for the stay at home mom who might otherwise feel abandoned, cheerless and dejected at least in the beginning of the adjustment phase.

Believe it or not, the old saying ‘like mother, like daughter’ is still very true and alive.

A recent study by researchers at Ohio State University on parenting reported an interesting finding. It claimed that women are more likely to follow how their parents practiced parenting than men.

The said survey based its report on findings from 1,133 young parents who were asked various questions. Some of the questions were on how frequently they spanked their children, how often they displayed affection to their children and how frequently they read to their children in the recent weeks. The researchers chose their subjects from a particular group whose parents had participated in a nationwide survey that started way back in 1979.

The research was able to establish the fact that mothers learn a lot about the parenting activities of their own mothers whereas fathers don’t follow their mothers as much. For all three behaviors — spanking children, giving physical affection/praise, and reading to children — women closely followed what their mothers did. This was not the case among men, the study authors found.

It is established that most mothers in the period under study (i.e. 1970s and 1980s) stayed home to parent their children. It is also true that though a lot of women were entering the workforce then, majority of them still did a lot of parenting their children. Despite these facts however, the fathers under study did not learn parenting from their mothers.

A lot more is still to be learnt about how fathers learn parenting.