Child rearing is an experience that makes adults out of grown-up children, called parents. As soon as a child is added in the life of a couple, everything changes. Suddenly, the baby becomes the focus of their lives. Everything revolves around the needs of the baby. The first formative years, from age birth upto five years lay the foundation of the whole life of a child. Mistakes made in child rearing during this time can sometimes be irreversible.

One of the fundamental principles of parenting is to appreciate the needs of a baby. If the needs are misunderstood, the responses of the parents will lead to damage in the bond between the baby and the mother. One of the earliest needs of the baby are- food, sleep, being clean and a sense of safety. Once these needs are met, the baby is a happy baby. The first three needs are physical but the need to feel safe is where there is a difference of opinion among experts. In cultures, where babies are free to sleep with parents and where the mother is available to cling to during any time of the day, the baby feels safe. In cultures where babies are made to sleep in separate rooms, and most of the waking life is spent in creches, there is a shift in the baby’s perception of safe relationships.

Spending time in creches has the advantage of bonding with different person/s other than the mother, which may be looked at as the start of making the individual independent. But the frequent change in caregivers gives confusing messages to the subconscious. The more the changes in the number of caregivers involving less touch, the more the nervous system feels unstimulated. At the end of the day, the baby’s needs for safety are prime after feeding and cleaning has been done. Touch plays a major role in providing the baby, a sense of safety. The more the tender touch is available, the safer the baby feels. Sensorial satiation is what makes a child grow up to be a stable individual.

When a baby does not get sensorial satisfaction, then the baby starts to develop various problems, one of which is hyperactivity. In my own observations, a child who has had the kind of touch that is available to a child reared full time by a mother in India or in Nigeria, he or she is likely to be more stable emotionally. In this case the behaviour can be easily controlled because the nervous system has absorbed the sense of safety in the subconscious. The hyperactivity happens because the nervous system has not reached its level of satisfaction. Children in India are of lesser weight than a baby born in Western Europe. Yet they develop motor skills like crawling and walking and talking earlier than children in the Westren countries. My conclusion is that the sense of safety by touch by mother is the key to this difference. In India, in families in which the baby gets touch -experiences the whole day by family members, even if the mother may be working, motor skills are learnt earlier.

As the baby grows up to understand language, the next step is to teach the baby ways of life. A normal baby who feels well loved, will behave well and will not show any problem behaviour. Any reprimand by the parent, by a well bonded child, is taken seriously and obeyed. The more the child feels loved, the less are the chances of misbehaviour.Love is the best foundation for discipline.

When a child is to be reprimanded, it needs to be done immediately after an event and not ten minutes later. A child has a short memory span. So correction has to be immediate. This way the child can learn to associate the event with the consequences. It is important to let a child know what the expected conduct needs to be rather than giving out for undesirable behaviour.

Spanking or beating is not needed to correct a child. They are counter-productive. If you want a behaviour to discontinue, let the child know of its consequences. For example, if you do not want a toddler to go near a burning candle, then you have to hold the child’s hand and bring it to a safe distance from the flame, so that the child can feel the heat. Once a child knows the fire can burn, they will not go near the flame. Such experiences demand hard work and alertness on the part of a parent. But it is worth it if you want a healthy and well adjusted happy adult as a child.

Experience teaches a child. Words do not mean much, till they are associated with experience. In order for a child to learn, every mistake and its consequences have to be explained in simple language without going into too much details. And everything needs to be based on truth. If a child observes parents being untruthful in any area of life, no matter what you tell them about truth, they will learn to be untruthful.

Copyright Pradeep K Chadha 2006

The Bible has a lot to say about a lot of things, and among those topics is the very crucial subject of raising children. The Bible makes four key points on the subject, four statements that literally lay the foundation for good parenting.These are things you really must know as a parent–and they may very well surprise you!

The first admonition from the Bible tells parents that they should raise their children “in the way they should go.” In other words, parents should raise children with a view of how they should live as adults. Rather than focusing on the immediacy of their day-to-day experiences, parents should bring up children thinking about the kinds of men and women they should grow to be.

This means that children should be raised with values, but not the pop culture values or age-appropriate values, but real grown-up values. The Bible teaches throughout its pages what those values are: honesty, integrity, hard work balanced with appropriate rest and recreation, compassion, and a sense of fairness.

If you want your children to be adults who care for the poor and needy, speak out for the disenfranchised, and honor their commitments, don’t expect them to get all that the day they turn 18. Children-even little kids-should be raised with adult values.

The second thing the Bible says is that parents should tell their children about God. Many otherwise well-meaning Christian parents feel that they’re doing a good job by bringing their children to church regularly, taking them to Sunday school, or buying them books or other materials that help instruct them in the Bible. Those things are great and should be done. But the Bible says that parents-not teachers, not pastors, not friends-should tell their children about God and the things of God.

This brings up an important point that is often overlooked today. Parents have a unique privilege that no one else has. A parent is able to speak to his or her child in a way that no one else on earth can. A good and loving parent has an incredible ability to make an impression on a child’s mind. Regardless of what children say or how they seem to tune out, they do listen to their parents. In fact, most of us remember a lot of the heartfelt things our own parents told us.

Unfortunately, few parents bother to relay anything to their children about how they feel about God, the Bible, and their faith. Parents need to tell their children about the big things in life, not just ordinary day-to-day matters.

The next thing the Bible states about raising children is that they ought to be disciplined. The Bible recommends corporal punishment in this regard, but the admonition in Scripture is not so much how to punish the child, but that a child be punished for wrongdoing.

Nowadays people sometimes even hesitate to use those terms-I have even heard people say that children should get “consequences” for making “bad choices.” The Bible does not use that kind of sissy language, and it doesn’t mince words. It says that children ought to be disciplined, which means that breaking the rules or doing something bad requires punishment. Punishment should never harm the child, but the child should come to know what’s right, what’s wrong, and what happens when he or she does the wrong thing.

On a related note, the Bible also says that parents should not make a child crazy. Actually, the Bible uses the old-fashioned word of “vex.” Parents should not vex their children. Vex means to frustrate or make a child feel like he or she cannot do the right thing or can never please the parent. Children should grow up with clear rules and boundaries they understand, but they also need to live in an environment that gives them a lot of wiggle room to do things that won’t get them in any trouble.

This means that parents have to be consistent. The kind of parent who punishes a child for swearing on Monday, laughs off the same word on Tuesday, ignores it on Wednesday, and then punishes it on Thursday is the kind of parent who vexes his or her child. The rules are whimsical-the child cannot figure out from one day to the next what’s acceptable.

This statement also means that parents have to decide what’s right and wrong. This may not be easy to do in all too many homes today, where lines between right and wrong, good and bad, and acceptable and not acceptable are blurry and getting blurrier! Parents and other caregivers need to get on the same page to formulate the household rules. Children get vexed when the rules are blurry or not defined. Parents can make their children crazy when the children cannot reasonably predict how the adults in their lives will respond, particularly when the children start to test limits and put their toes over boundary lines.

Those are the four key points the Bible says about raising kids: give them adult values (train them up in the way they should go), tell them about God (parent’s can’t out-source this task), discipline them but don’t make them crazy, that is, be consistent and give them clear guidelines.

When you found out that you were going to be a parent, did you feel you were prepared for parenthood? How did you prepare to become a parent? What school did you attend to acquire the best parenting skills? Do you feel you are doing a good job as a parent? It is so unfortunate to know that parenting is one of the areas in our society in which no one is required to get some sort of formal preparation. Most of us go into parenthood blindfolded with no clue as to what’s the best way, approach, or method to raise a child. Did someone take some time to give you some positive parenting tips? Most of us go into parenting following what we learned while growing up. But what if our parents did not implement the best strategies on us? What if during our childhood all we faced was neglect, abuse and lack of love? Is that what we ought to teach our own children?

As a parent you must decide what you want and don’t want for your child. Do you wish for your child to endure the same things you did when you were growing up? Or do you want to provide your little one with a nurturing environment where love, respect, patience and respect dominate everything around him? Many parents do not realize that the problems they face with their children reflect their own lack of skills, strategies and discipline methods. So what is it that you are missing when it comes to raising your little(s) one that is not working? There are several factors such as your approach, methods, attitude, and views that contribute to a child’s bad behavior. Some positive parenting tips can help you understand what you may be missing when educating your little one.

First of all, what is your approach when your child starts crying, doing a temper tantrum, biting, pushing or hitting? The approach you take can seriously determine whether he stops or continues with such bad behavior.

Next, what methods do you use to help your child change or modify his bad behavior? Do you simply get mad and punish him or do you allow him to explain what his problem is? Again, your approach will guide the outcome of your child’s behavior. Some positive parenting tips can make a difference on your approach, view, methods and attitude about raising your child.

Being a parent can bring you satisfaction and despair at the same time. When your child displays the best behavior possible it gives you a feeling of pride and joy. But when your child displays the opposite, it gives a parent a feeling of despair and failure. Any parent can accomplish a great job raising a child. All it takes is the desire to modify ones behavior, attitude and views about child rearing and of course some good positive parenting tips.

Also, what is your view about how you deal with your child’s upbringing? Do you believe that you should follow the same strategies your parents used? Or do you have your own believes and attitudes about how to raise your child? You have to remember that there is a big difference between the time when you were little and now.

Before discussing the problems and circumstances that a single mother and her child will face in future, it is good to understand the term “single parent” or “sole parent” first.  Single parent can be a single mother raising her one or more children without the assistance of her children’s father or vice verse. Moreover, you will see the variation in the meaning of this term because of the religion and national laws differences about single parenthood. The reason for single parenthood might be a divorce, adoption surrogate motherhood, death of the spouse and so on.

As we know, mother is a main source in developing certain capabilities in her child like communication skills, social skills, social normal behaviors and is also responsible for his/her mental and physical growth. But these developments are made gradually and with the passage of time become noticeable when children start interacting with others

No doubt, there is no alternative of a mother in this world who can teach her children that what is right and what is wrong. She is a best source for building-independence in their children and is responsible to control the child’s behavior-disorders. Mother should point out positive and good qualities of her child at every stage of life so he/she can adopt good qualities and avoid bad ones. Moreover, you can find various personalities, who attained success & fame in their lives are raised by their mothers alone like: Mother Teresa, Tom Cruise, Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby.

Besides this, there is a perception that raising a boy is more difficult than a girl for a single mother, yes! It is true to some extent. Because boys tend to be more active than girls so  it is  important that arrangements for releasing their excessive-energy like sports is done at an early stage in their life. Emotional situations males respond in a different way than females it is important to keep the lines of communication very open, mothers need to handle the situation with patience in tricky manners. As a single mother, you are fulfilling both(father and mother) responsibilities at-once so you should give your boy the realistic perspective that there are all kind of families in this world, some are with a father and other are without a father. These tips will help her in developing her boy like any other boy who is rising with a father. Otherwise single mom will fail to raise her baby mentally, emotionally and physically normal and healthy. And as a result you can see a violent behavior in their personalities. It is also important to also have positive male role-models that can teach your son valuable lessons that are best come from a male point of view.

In short, day by day single mother and child families are increasing in numbers especially in western societies. But, the out come of single mother and child is mostly depending on the social network and the communication with-in her family. As a single mom is playing the role of father as well as of mother she needs to manage efficiently  multi tasking in every facet of life, performing not only the house hold duties, work and her children.With the help of great time management and a proper  schedule, she can manage every with greatest of ease, some times it is just more  challenging.