It’s amazing, how many parents, years ago, managed to successfully rear their children, without the help of ‘parenting skills’- a concept completely alien until comparatively recently. There’s no doubt whatsoever that the arrival of a new baby, with all its needs, can be overwhelming initially, turning a previously balanced and structured regime into one of chaos. There are some parents who find it almost impossible to cope, particularly if the mother is unlucky enough to suffer from post natal depression. Even a mother who is fit and healthy is sometimes frightened by the responsibility she bears for attending to the wants of a new baby. The mother quickly realises that this little scrap of humanity is totally dependent on her which can at times seem daunting.

However, with the number of books on baby care, plus clinics and medical facilities available, a new mother has help undreamed of only fifty years ago. In addition, she has numerous labour saving gadgets including washing machines, disposable nappies, bottle warmers etc. which all contribute to making her life easier than that experienced by her mother. But it appears all these advantages are not enough to enable mothers to bring up their children without lessons in ‘parenting skills’. Incredible as it may sound, the basic ingredient required for bringing up children are two words, ‘common sense’. It has to be admitted that it takes time to come to terms with the arrival of a new person in a household but it doesn’t take rocket science to learn how to rear that new baby.

Common sense should provide enough guidance along with the informative books and medical help mentioned previously. Even people with no experience with babies can successfully bring up a child without lessons in ‘parenting skills’. All these’ parenting skills’ are after all, when examined, based on common sense. It doesn’t take much imagination to know when a baby needs feeding, changing or is tired. It takes practice but soon becomes second nature. Some mothers feed ‘on demand’, others prefer a strict time-table. Obviously whichever system works is the one to adopt; there’s certainly nothing mysterious or difficult about it. As the baby settles down, puts on weight and shows signs of growth, the easier things become. Some babies will always cry more than others which can be distressing for the parent but again, using common sense, mothers begin to recognise what’s upsetting their baby and so take the necessary steps to deal with the problem. Then the baby begins to flourish and, at this stage, can bring tremendous happiness and joy to the parents as they watch their baby develop with its own personality. There is nothing more rewarding.

Quite frankly, most ‘parenting skills’ are innate, there to be used when called upon. All children need understanding and love, particularly love which most parents are only too happy to display. Always being there for their children is the most reassuring stand any parent can take. Obviously, as a child grows, it’s important for him/her to discover there are right and wrong ways to behave and responsible parents will ensure their children learn these differences. Encouraging children to do well is fine as long as parents don’t make the mistake of pushing their offspring into situations which make them unhappy. All children are naturally curious and this curiosity helps them to learn and should never be discouraged. Equally important, however, no parent should allow their children to be burdened with unrealistic expectations. Each child eventually finds his/her level of intelligence. Forcing a child to exceed that level can be exceedingly damaging to a child’s development.

All the above points are simply based on common sense and, if used wisely, will almost always result in producing a child who is well-balanced, secure and able to cope with the trials and tribulations of growing up. This will also give huge pleasure and love in the process to his/her parents. Rocket Science? Not at all!

Single mothers face a lot of problems while bringing up children in USA. Financial problems being the most important as ex-husband may not pay the court order money for child support. These mothers may not be able to do a full time job as a result they may not be able to pay for day care and may not meet the criteria for head start. Many are thus dependent on AFDC (aid to families with dependent children) or WIC (Women Infants and children). This dependence on welfare organization once established is difficult to break.

There are many reasons for the financial worries of single mothers. Although most ex-spouses fulfill their court ordered financial obligations regarding their children; a few of them do not comply with this court ordered support. The latter case not only results in extra psychological and physical burden on the single mother, it makes it difficult for her to fulfill the requirements of the child in regards to food and clothing. A lot of people may consider court ordered support as luxury; but on the contrary it is just enough to meet the requirements.

The children constantly grow so they require a regular supply of clothing and food. Education is not entirely free even in state schools. Similarly preschool children require child care, whereas day care is difficult to afford. More over the WIC or AFDC will not support the mother till the issue of court order is resolved. This means going back to the court again and making your ex-husband to pay either by wage garnishment or by any other legal way. It is not an easy task to find an ex- husband so the lone mother can do nothing than to rely on herself alone. This places the mother as well as the child in a danger of becoming homeless. These are the risks of single parenting.

It is difficult to afford daycare as they usually require up to $400 per month. Most lone mothers have to take a job. However with the daycare being so costly it may not be possible for the mother to work as well as look after her preschool children. The head start and the early start are good supportive programs but most of these mothers do not fall in the specified low income groups especially when receiving court support.

So they may not get any support from head start and have to bare all the expenses of daycare all by themselves. She might not get some help from the child’s preschool also. Actually she belongs to the working community among poor. These and such are the problems faced by a single mum in America.

Short comings in the welfare system also effect these single mothers. These mothers are considered the same as any other poor social group by many federal and state programs which run WIC and AFDC. On the other hand these women are more likely to suffer from many psychiatric illnesses which then become a major hurdle in getting job or other financial assistance. As a result of which it becomes difficult for them to gain financial independence and they become permanently dependent on welfare.

As a whole the single mothers living in USA face problems which are quite different from others. It is essential that more funds should be allocated for them