When you look around in the world what do you see that you would like to modify or transform? I see a messed up pop culture filled up with teenage girls and young women, walking around on the streets, in the stores, and even in church, half naked! I am, a mother of three home-schooled teenage sons, which makes me kind of embarrassed by these tense moments together when half dressed teenage girls and women walk by and smile flirtatiously at my sons, while their bellies and breasts hang out of their shirts.

Below are some summer wear guidelines for dressing for a casual classy and sophisticated look when going out in public.

1. Shorts and pants should not hang so low off your hips so that when you bend over your butt crack shows.

2. Shorts should not be any higher than two inches above the knee. If shorts are too short they tend to inch up, exposing too much thigh. It is classier to only show a little bit rather than bare all.

3. Shorts should not be so tight that it looks like they were painted on where you can see the outline of a girl’s pubic bone and panty lines. Ouch! That has got to be uncomfortable.

4. Best summer attire for wearing out for the classy lady is kaki shorts one inch above the knee with a tailored short sleeved blouse.

5. Summer dresses and skirts should never be so short that when you bend down, your backside is exposed, or when you sit down, the dress inches up to the top of your thigh. This is your cue that the dress is way too short.

Shirts should fit the wearer properly.

1. Shirts should come completely down to the waist over the shorts or tucked into the shorts so your belly is not hanging out.

2. If you have bigger breasts than a size A, you should wear a bra. There is nothing more sloppy looking than breasts that are left to sag in tight fitting shirts.

3. Bra straps should not show if you are wearing a sleeveless blouse.

4. Blouse or shirt should not be so big, or low cut that when you bend down your cleavage droops down in front of peoples view.

Dressing in this fashion will not stop the stares, and it most likely will get you a few extra from a different breed of men.

I often wonder what my sons are thinking when they see a cute teenage girl, maybe your daughter, wearing only a pair of short-shorts and a skimpy little shirt. Do I dare ask? I don’t really think they will tell me what they are thinking. I look at them and see embarrassed looks on their face, red faced and ashamed that they even smiled back. My teenage sons have been home schooled since the first grade. So you can see how they would not be used to seeing half naked girls too much. The problem is this teenage skin baring is getting worse.

You know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking, where are these girl’s father? I’m thinking why aren’t the fathers protecting their daughters from this sort of exploitation? Does that sound too harsh? I don’t think so. When I see half naked, thirteen, fifteen and sixteen years old, I know what they are doing. They are exhibiting their sexual identities through the only means they know how. This is what they are taught and conditioned to believe because this is all they see going on in the world around them. But they have so much more to offer than this!

Just the other day, I saw people coming out of a Church with shorts and t-shirts on! It’s too late to draw the line, precedents have already been established. At this point, and what I keep saying, is, it is up to the individual to prepare themselves physically and mentally against the temptations of society and for those parents who care about their children to instill the values and principles they will need to equip themselves properly for whatever in the world decides to eat them up from this diseased culture.

Who teaches young girls and women to think they need to go around with their private parts hanging out? Is it the parents fault? I don’t think parents are talking to their children. I think that many Christian homes have become too lax in their values to realize that the culture is becoming more and more corrupt. Parents don’t realize, or don’t care that they are becoming one with this new liberal, “so called Christian” view. Society is literally crazy about nakedness and sex! The blind are leading the blind.

If you are not blind to all of this, then the most important thing you can do for your teenager is to talk to them about the importance of having morals and values within their character. It is the parent’s job to erect values in their children, not someone else. Build up your teenager’s self esteem everyday and direct them down the right paths that lead to happiness and love. Teaching them about modesty in everything they do is a great virtue of character to instill in your teenager.

Make it a point to get involved with what they are involved in. Let them know you care. A teen will be less likely to be pressured by their peers when they know who they are, what they believe in, and what they want for themselves.

It is the parent’s job to instill these things within the framework of their child when he or she is young, so when they are older, they will not depart from their teaching.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Now that your child or children have become teenagers, I’m sure that you have noticed a change in attitude and a change in their vocabulary. I sure remember when I reached my teenage years and the way my parents reacted. They were very concerned with my vocabulary and my, what they labeled, negative attitude. I also recall my attitude when my children became teenagers. I have found that most parents react the same way when they realize that their child/children are becoming more independent.

Teenagers today are being influenced in so many different ways that they really become very confused in which direction they should follow. Because of this confusion, which can lead to mild depression, it is very important that you, as a parent, become very involved in communicating with your child/children on a regular schedule.

A technique that my wife and I found to very helpful in communicating with our teenage children was to set up a schedule to talk with them. We decided to sit down with our children three days a week for at least 1 hour each day. There were no interruptions. Phones were turned off, no TV, no IPods, no cell phones, no computers. The only sounds that were heard were the sounds of good communication between our children and their parents. We continued this process for 6 years.

If you decide to try this technique then you must make a commitment that it will be a positive and uplifting experience. You should also realize that some old habits are going to change, usually in a positive direction. During your communication time with your teenager/teenagers you always want to communicate your love, respect and how proud you are of them. While in your family get together you always should be using positive words and ideas.

Positive words and ideas that you can use are; keeping a smile on your face, intelligence, leader or leadership, smart, friendly, attractive, good looking, friend, helper, helping others, serving others, positive attitude, positive words, good habits, good study habits, great grades, respect for themselves, respect for others, love of family, integrity and excellence and being the best that you can be every day. These words and ideas are examples we used during our communication time as a family. The results were fantastic and very rewarding.

Now, as you develop your own technique to communicate with your teen/teens, make sure that you’re honest and committed to help them develop a positive attitude and a positive vocabulary. You will be very proud of the progressive success that will be the result of you commitment.

It is not always easy being a parent. We teach our children how to treat us. And often from an early age they have us wrapped around their small fingers.

So we are not unfairly taken advantage of we as parents must set boundaries early on. Without these our children will run wild. Today parents seem more lenient – certainly more so than our own parents. Too much freedom can actually harm our children.

By setting boundaries, we are letting our children know exactly what we expect of them. And what we disapprove of. Yes our children may very well kick and scream but it is in our own best interests (and theirs) to set boundaries and then consistently reinforce them.

Children feel safe when boundaries are set. Yes they will test you and you must be firm and unrelenting. Once you let your guard down once, you have lost some self respect and will be walked all over.

Setting boundaries for every routines are essential to ensure peaceful every-day living. Where your children can and cannot eat in the house. What time they must go to bed. How they are expected to behave are three general boundaries that must be set.

The trick in setting these rules is to not make them sound like rules. Explain why that particular boundary is set and why it is in their best interest. For example you can talk about their bed-time as being essential to have enough energy to wake up early the next morning and start playing.

State that so-and-so child goes to bed earlier than them and they are lucky to be able to stay up later than them. Tell your children stories about what it was like when you are their age. Children enjoy listening to these – especially when it makes them feel better about their circumstance.

Have consequences if they do not adhere to the boundary. And make sure you carry out what you threaten to do. That way your child knows you are serious and will think twice about pushing the boundary next time.

Being firm and loving is the key in setting and reinforcing boundaries with your child.

Question – We are having increasing difficulty dealing with curfews in our home. Our teenagers want to stay out later and later and it’s hard for us to trust them. What can we do?

Answer – Isn’t it amazing how kids believe that they can have fun only after a certain time of evening (or early morning)?

Curfew ripe for power struggles

Curfew can be an area ripe for power struggles, conflict and frustration. When the subject of curfew comes up, many parents hear the same old refrains:

“Everyone else’s parents let them stay out as long as they want.” (check it out, it’s probably not accurate)

“When I get to be a parent, I’m going to let my kids stay out as late as they want.” (right)

If not handled properly, curfew can become a battleground with the parents playing warden to the teenage inmates, and kids sneaking out and/ or not coming home in order to “prove” their independence.

Control vs. management

Curfew can also be an area that can illustrate a useful model for managaging the teenage years.

Many times when parents phone me about a teenager, they say something like, “I can’t seem to control my kid.”

The problem here is one of control vs. management. Trying to control a teenager is like trying to make a gorilla wear pants:

It’s only going to frustrate you and make the gorilla angry.

If your teenager is giving you problems and you feel like there is nothing left to try to get them to behave, then you need to change your approach. This article will give you some of the best information out there to turn around the current situation with your child and help to really get through to them and communicate with them. While it is not always easy and sometimes takes a little bit of time, no matter what approach you use, the key is persistence.

Even though many teens share the same kinds of issues, they are all different. You will have to come up with unique ways to deal with your teen’s unique problems, but let’s start by examining some of the more common problems that they have and how to deal with them effectively.

When children become teenagers, they begin to experience peer pressure from all ends. They are pressured into doing things like smoking, doing drugs, drinking, and having sex. With so many different things to worry about and their friends outnumbering parents, what is there to do? One of the best things you can do is to talk with them honestly and openly about whatever issue they are having.

It is not always easy to get your kids to talk to you willingly, but just let them know that you are there for them no matter what they do. Many parents make the all too common mistake of overreacting them their child tells them that they did something like tried a certain drug or smoking.

While it is normal to be disappointed or even angry, it is important that you remain calm and be understanding. You should let them know that you have had experience either with indulging in some of these behaviors or at least being pressured into doing some of them. By doing this you are letting them know that you can relate to them and understand what they’re going through.