Parenting is one of the toughest jobs we are ever given. A small, unformed mind and body becomes ours to guide, nurture, and raise into a responsible and well adjusted adult. If you’ve lost the co-parent in your life as a daily support whether through divorce or other external circumstances, single parenting can feel like an even more daunting task.

Bering a single mother is of particular challenge given that statistically single mothers struggle a bit more financially as women. In the midst of all of the demands of raising a child and supporting the family practically and financially, it becomes of paramount importance that self care be high on the list. Think of it as positioning your own oxygen mask on an airplane before adjusting your children’s masks. Here are 3 tips to help single moms stay sane:

1. Take very good care of yourself physically. Doing this will help you with energy, focus, and emotional stability as you face the various pressures and stresses of single parenting. Eat healthy foods, avoid “junk” and highly processed food, take supplements as needed (a food based multivitamin and fish oil are a good start for many people), and exercise regularly to increase fitness and boost your mood.

2. Gather your support network and accept their help. You will need adult support for you emotionally, as well as practical help so that you can prevent being overwhelmed by parenting alone. When people offer to help you, don’t pretend to be superwoman and turn them down. Accept the help with gratitude and make the most of it!

3. Do a small thing for yourself each day. Make a list of activities or little indulgences you really enjoy. Pick one thing off this list to do for yourself daily. This helps send your mind a message, that you are worthy and deserving of a little spoiling. As much as you give your children and your job, etc, you need to give yourself something to look forward to.

Single mothers face a lot of problems while bringing up children in USA. Financial problems being the most important as ex-husband may not pay the court order money for child support. These mothers may not be able to do a full time job as a result they may not be able to pay for day care and may not meet the criteria for head start. Many are thus dependent on AFDC (aid to families with dependent children) or WIC (Women Infants and children). This dependence on welfare organization once established is difficult to break.

There are many reasons for the financial worries of single mothers. Although most ex-spouses fulfill their court ordered financial obligations regarding their children; a few of them do not comply with this court ordered support. The latter case not only results in extra psychological and physical burden on the single mother, it makes it difficult for her to fulfill the requirements of the child in regards to food and clothing. A lot of people may consider court ordered support as luxury; but on the contrary it is just enough to meet the requirements.

The children constantly grow so they require a regular supply of clothing and food. Education is not entirely free even in state schools. Similarly preschool children require child care, whereas day care is difficult to afford. More over the WIC or AFDC will not support the mother till the issue of court order is resolved. This means going back to the court again and making your ex-husband to pay either by wage garnishment or by any other legal way. It is not an easy task to find an ex- husband so the lone mother can do nothing than to rely on herself alone. This places the mother as well as the child in a danger of becoming homeless. These are the risks of single parenting.

It is difficult to afford daycare as they usually require up to $400 per month. Most lone mothers have to take a job. However with the daycare being so costly it may not be possible for the mother to work as well as look after her preschool children. The head start and the early start are good supportive programs but most of these mothers do not fall in the specified low income groups especially when receiving court support.

So they may not get any support from head start and have to bare all the expenses of daycare all by themselves. She might not get some help from the child’s preschool also. Actually she belongs to the working community among poor. These and such are the problems faced by a single mum in America.

Short comings in the welfare system also effect these single mothers. These mothers are considered the same as any other poor social group by many federal and state programs which run WIC and AFDC. On the other hand these women are more likely to suffer from many psychiatric illnesses which then become a major hurdle in getting job or other financial assistance. As a result of which it becomes difficult for them to gain financial independence and they become permanently dependent on welfare.

As a whole the single mothers living in USA face problems which are quite different from others. It is essential that more funds should be allocated for them